Issues in Emunah (I'll be adding Emunah components later)

Following in my mind the "genealogy" of my ramblings about knowledge, epistemology, how we come to "know", believe, we such things 'come from' if anywhere (or anywhere here ; whether knowledge, wisdom and ideas are at times more than emergent)...I find that my perspective has long been tainted by colorings drawn from reading fiction (mostly), occult "Forbidden Knowledge" that made one privey to the works beyon the veil (or leaving you with the impression of the world as "veiled" - but I'm getting to that), Lovecraftian "terrorizing knowledge" that leads invariably to insanity or some form or literal or figurative suicide, Masonic initatory wisdom (later silly-fied by suggestions of 'conspiracy'), known only by certain people empowered over others, annotations to surface reality, even Race Memory and ethnicity (bound up with College-era authenticity issues). Plenty of experiences have contributed as well of course. I just wanted to set out where some of my musing around knowledge and doxastic practices stem from. As is often said by those working from within the confines of the "Therapeutic Paradigm" - the first step is admitting [or as I would also suggest - convincing yourself], that you have a problem. If you have a hammer, the world looks alot like a nail. If you're a soul, the world looks alot like....
Shabbat Shalom umvorakh!